I decided I'm going to make this blog site a healthy mix of whatever my ADHD brain tells me to write. I try to keep everything organized (travel blog anyone?) but it all gets muddled and I just go where the dopamine leads me. Start a business? Done. Have a total of 50k TikTok followers on two TikTok accounts? Done. Manage multiple social media accounts? Create two websites and a blog? Start writing up a podcast with your boyfriend? Done. Done. And Done.
But sometimes I have to remind myself that the go go go lifestyle can be a burden. So when I up and moved halfway across the world to Scotland, I thought it would be a grand time to try and relax. I wanted to focus on my writing and setting myself up for a career. Its going okay. One of the questions I was asked in an application was ' write about your happiest memories’ and that’s when I thought of this story.
When I moved to Scotland, I discovered a few fellow weirdo strangers who struggled like I did, who loved being busy like I did, and whose brains all followed the dopamine like mine did.
It started out like any friendship does these days. Online. Given it was 2020 and the world was in lock down (yeah, I moved during the pandemic. I'm just stubborn), we didn't have much choice when it came to meet ups. We were in the Edinburgh Napier Class of 2025 or something and when it was evident only a few of us consistently talked in the chat, we broke off into a smaller group. As the weeks went on, the group dwindled. Until a mere fleck of five remained by the time I'm writing this. It wasn't always five. When we first all met in person there was a strong nine of us. There was one time in the summer we met up, only the second or third time we had, and it's one of my favorite memories.
Taylor, Ammna, and I caught a ride with Fin to meet Henry and Jade in Berwick Upon Tweed. Normally, I'd take the train (thank you amazing public transportation) but Fin offered the ride. I sat in the back, trying not to puke, as we drove through the winding country roads. Fin hadn't been to Henry's yet, and accidentally drove to North Berwick. That's an hour out of the way, but it was funny to everyone, and that was one of the better signs I was with the right people. The stress of being on time was non-existent. Anyone who knows me knows I can't be on-time to save my life. More often than not, they just tell me an earlier time or I write down an assignment is due two days before it really is. We make it work.
The weather was perfect for a beach day. It was warm, but cool enough for me to wear a hoodie. The sky started off blue with wisps of cirrus clouds, and by the end of the evening they were painted strokes of pinks and purples, the sun setting behind the cliffs. In between games of volleyball and football, we'd decided a bonfire would be perfect. Not that we had anything for a bonfire. Henry and Jade brought these awful stale marshmallows (no one knew of their taste until it was too late) and gram crackers. However, there was no fire wood and we lacked a functioning lighter. What did we have? Well. A few dry reeds, drift wood, and rocks. Oh, and Fin found a random pair of black boxers o_____O
All together, we began collecting sticks and threw them in a hole one of us dug in the sand. We stood by, admiring our collection of sticks, proud of the hard work. But then stumbled when we had no way to light them. I personally tried rocks- let's just say I wouldn't be able to start a fire in the wild with just rocks. Jade had the brilliant idea to use the gas stove she had in her car. Of course we wondered why no one thought of that for the whole 30-45 min we were trying to get a fire started. But alas, just as the sun began to disappear behind the cliffs, our bonfire began to burn. And while we took selfies and ate the worst s'mores of our lives, we giggled, and told stories of our youth, making plans for the rest of the summer. Amidst our digital recordings, all you hear Henry say is, "this is genuinely like a happy time." And from then on out, I'd look back on that day and know in that moment, I’d discovered what my definition of happiness was.